Try a Little White Space for Wiggle Room – Make Room for Something New with Radical Release
October 14, 2013 | Posted in Leading Hartfully, Living Hartfully, Wealthy Woman | By Gaia Hart
It never ceases to amazing me, the rushing about, the velocity of people and the ramping up of activity as we roll into the holiday season. As if many of our lives aren’t hectic enough jammed packed with busy-ness; we amp up and cram in more activities. I dare you to put a little more white space into your life. Make space for serendipity and make room for new things to flow into your path. If our lives and our homes and offices, and cars and garages and closets and calendars are filled to maximum capacity; how is the Universe going to send something to an already-full space? Clear out some stuff to make room for what matters more.
When I was in full-tilt keynote speaker mode for many years; I would always schedule some play time in the city where I was speaking to spend time with friends who lived nearby or to explore a new area. I would also “try” to schedule a down day after a trip to regroup and recharge before going out again for another program. Of course I was also guilting of booking back-to-back programs, in different parts of the world or the country in the same week or sometimes in the, gasp, same day. That would stress me out to no end if I did book something in two different states on the same day – hoping no weather-related or flight-related incidents cropped up. I paid the price for it with stress and exhaustion. I would run into other speakers at conventions who would tell me that they were doing 150 programs that year. My response was “are you bragging or complaining”…. followed by “I’m sorry to hear that.” Which usually got a wierd look in response.
Boundaries. We need to set boundaries and create white space in our lives to allow space for ourselves and our thoughts and day dreaming and planning. My hunch is the over-stuffed schedules come from a fear-based approach to not wanting to lose out on an income-producing opportunity, or to lose out to a competitor or to have to sit with ourselves and our thoughts for just a moment. A fear that we will somehow miss whatever it is may be happening whereever we may not be. Wealth and income cannot and will not flow into a space that is not accepting of it. If you have no room for more to flow in, it won’t. Period. Are you ready for more flow in your life and to release the old stuff and old ways to have more white space?
Most people spend more time writing out their holiday gift list than writing out their life plan and their dream list or their self-improvement list and goals. Why not take a breather this coming holiday season and spend time at home, away from the malls, off the freeways, out of your in-laws or relatives homes and create some more white space within yourself and within your life. I guarantee it will allow you space to Refresh, Refocus and Reconnect with you.
If you’re feeling crazed or off track or stuck or whipped up into a frenzy with all the stuff you usually do rolling into this time of year; I offer you permission to Refresh your frazzled nerves any way that feels organice and natural to who you are. It could be feeding the ducks, going to an art museum, getting a massage, facial or mani/pedi, sipping coffee on the porch, bubble baths or naps. Whatever it is that recharges your batteries, create white space for it.
Refocus and reframe your situation and your choices and your usual to-do lists during the upcoming time of year. Refocus on what you want to do for you so you can better serve others in the future. You can’t give what you don’t have, so regaining your energy and your focus makes you better at what you do. Leaders can’t lead well if their nerves are shot and their attention is scattered. Refocus on what matters most and drop the rest.
Reconnect with your Source, Yourself and Others. Make room for Spirit to work magic in your life and invite positive energy into your intentions. Reconnect with yourself through radical release. Release the old ways of running ragged. Dump the notion that the holidays mean stress. For the past few decades I’ve made a promise to myself to stay out of the malls and shopping centers between Thanksgiving and Martin Luther King Day to avoid the craziness. That is my release from all things un-spirited about the spirit of the season. No more lines, no more figting for parking, no more crowds…it’s quite a good feeling to be released from all of that negativity. I’ve come to love home delivery of my groceries and drug store purchases. Releasing myself from those time-zapping errands gives me a few hours of more white space per month and reduces my stress levels. What can you release from your life to give you more energy for other things that matter more?
Reconnecting with friends – making room for more time to really connect, not just on Facebook. Reconnecting through phone calls, sending a heart-felt card or meeting face to face the olf-fashioined way lifts our spirits. My gift to you is to send a free card to somebody and reconnect with them. Let them know you’re thinking about them – a real card with a stamp and envelope that will land in their mailbox, anywhere in the world. There’s a video that will walk you through how to send it – my treat – http://www.BizBuilderCards.com.
How can you practice radical release and create more white space in your life over the holidays and every day? What new habits can you form that will give you more wiggle room? What things and activities can you delete from your life and your space to make room for the Universe to bring you something that matters more? I double dog dare you to start creating more white space in the margins of your life and allow the flow to come to you. If there is no space for it to flow to you, it will flow to somebody else and you stay stuck in your ways. Let me know what things you’ve released from your life to make more white space to BE.
Practicing Safe Stress for the Holidays & Any Day: 25 Tips to Good Moods
December 6, 2011 | Posted in Leading Hartfully, Living Hartfully | By Gaia Hart
Some people, it seems, are just born with a more optimistic attitude and outlook, while others focus on the gloom and doom. The research on optimism fills volumes and I wanted to give you some quick tips on practicing safe stress, being more happy and how to be in a better mood for the holidays and every day. It may take more effort during the blustery gray, rainy/snowy days of winter amidst the holiday bustle; but well worth it for your own well-being and for the sake of others in your path. Our energy is contagious – just ask Caesar Milan – the Dog Whisperer – our energy is everything to a dog…and to your neighbors, co-workers and your spouse and friends.
Since your time is short, I’ll make this snappy:
- Get moving – I prefer to think of it as “activity” vs. “exercise” – it just seems more palatable to people to relieve stress and release endorphins. It can be a full-blown cardio/strength/flexibility workout or a brisk walk in the park or even mall walking (before the stores open and before the crowds arrive). If you haven’t tried Zumba or hip hop classes – the music alone will put you in a good mood, even if you’re out of breath.
- Eat breakfast and include protein – some research says eating 60% more protein if you’re lifting weights – donuts don’t count.
- Be smart about your diet, less white stuff, more color, more water-content food/drink, variety and healthy. Enjoy some of your favorite good mood foods in moderation – whatever that may be, cookies, mac and cheese, eggnog, dark chocolate…. think comfy food.
- Hug it out – physical affection and the power of touch helps with happiness – petting a puppy or kitten can help lower blood pressure and calm your nerves.
- Get outside – breathe in fresh air, get out in the woods and catch the negative ions from the pine trees -leave your cell and texting activities in your pocket – this is about nature and you communing and not about you tweeting that you’re in the woods.
- Be in the moment, experience it fully and decide what types of moments you want to have. Don’t like crowds – then avoid the mall, agitated in line – change the time of day for this activity. Stressed over the big holiday feast – suggest a nice restaurant or change it up. Financially stressed about all the gifts you need to get – let everybody know you’re opting out of unfettered consumerism this year and want a pot-luck social gathering instead – don’t fret about the future. Choose wisely where your brain is and focus on the here and now.
- Be grateful – fear goes out the back door when gratitude walks in the front door. Decide to be in a state of grace and gratitude and you will be granted more things to be grateful for.
- Say nice things to others – compliments share positive energy and that’s contagious. Help make the holiday bright with sincere positive praise.
- Focus on making happy memories – invest in experiences and bring others along for the ride. Shared experiences amp up the positive vibe.
10. Listen to upbeat music, dance, sing.
11. Play with your pet or visit a dog park and delight in their bouncing energy.
12. Smile more and stand/sit up straight – good posture promotes elevated spirits. Smiling stimulates the thymus gland, which produces T-cells, which means people who are smiling get sick less often and feel better than those who don’t smile. Smiling is also contagious. At least a hundred studies on how smiling can actually lift your mood – it fakes out your body into thinking it’s happier.
13. Wear comfortable shoes – comfy clothes too. Comfy doesn’t equal sloppy or baggy – when you feel better about your looks and your looks feel better, everybody is happier. A recent survey found 41% of women felt happier when they felt prettier. I’m guessing the men felt happier too.
14. Cashmere, cashmere, cashmere – who couldn’t be in a better mood when you slip on some cashmere?
15. Friends, friends, friends – in any way shape or form of personal contact and socialization elevates our energy. Choose positive friends and be a positive friend – nobody likes being around negative people.
16. Avoid over-obligations and over-scheduling, especially during the holidays. If you need a holiday from the holidays, you missed the point.
17. Laugh out loud – cultivate your sense of humor. As a Certified Laughter Leader who studied how laughter and fun affect us in positive ways; it actually changes your brain chemicals and changes the chemical make-up in your blood. They’ve found markers in your blood which change even when you anticipate a good time or a funny movie or fun activity – even days before the activity.
18. Be kind – kindness also changes your blood chemistry and raises serotonin, which counter-acts depression. Whether you are the giver, receiver or witnessing by-stander, kindness works.
19. Positive self-talk – it’s a tried and true tip to blast yourself with positive self-talk and avoid beating yourself up through your self-talk. Our mindset is EVERYTHING. Our behavior starts with our thoughts – choose wisely to change your outcomes.
20. Try something new – enjoy beginner’s brain again and experience some wonder and awe in your life – discover something new you didn’t know how to do before: cooking, weaving, skiing, dog-sledding, volunteering, wearing red lipstick, painting, riding a unicycle or Zumba.
21. Upbeat live entertainment: comedy clubs, karaoke, theatre, ballet, concerts, coffee shop guitarists and children’s plays.
22. DECIDING to be in a good mood – just change your mind to change your energy and you can change your life and also change the energy of those around you. Your colleagues and friends will thank you.
23. Get plenty of sleep, or take naps. Most Americans get far too little sleep – no wonder we’re a nation of tired and cranky people. It’s hard to be in a good mood if you’re completely exhausted. Can you get help, delete some of your chores, set boundaries, close the door, do not disturb.
24. Keep a check on what you watch on TV or view on your computer or listen to over the airwaves – we’re bombarded with negativity.
25. Outsource the things you don’t enjoy or are not comfortable doing, barter or negotiate something different. Hire somebody to do whatever is not in your zone of excellence or genius and pay them for their skills to make both of you happier.
26. Volunteer to help out your community, a favorite cause or favorite place – being of service serves all involved and puts you in a better mood to feel needed and worthy and that what you’re doing matters.
That’s enough to get you started on the right path to save yourself this holiday and every day you want a little mood lifter. And as a gift to you, 1 extra tip…always give more than expected! A happy life is just a bunch of happy moments and good moods all strung together. I invite you to create your own list or maybe cut your list into strips and put in a jar. Whenever you’re feeling low, grab a piece of paper with one of your activities or ideas on it and do it right then.
Here’s to happier holidays by practicing some safe stress and being purposeful about putting yourself in a good mood. Everybody else wants you there as well. Cheers!