As the CEO (Chief Energizing Officer) at Hartful Living including GaiaHart.com and BizBuilderCards.com; I’m a Messenger and Mentor for women entrepreneurs, connecting them to their capacity to energize their work and their lives in the art of living Hartfully. At BizBuilderCards.com, you can make a living through giving with greeting cards and gifts to build your network net worth as an additive to your current business or an easy way to send gratitude and kindness to the world.

7 Things You Can Ditch To Increase Your Happy Factor

December 28, 2013 | Posted in Leading Hartfully, Living Hartfully | By

I wanted to start out the year on the right foot….or is it the left foot. I prefer goofy footed. Here are some things you can delete from your day that can make your life a lot easier and maybe, just maybe a lot happier. If we choose to let go of what isn’t serving us in relation to the greater good of our life as we work towards the greater good of our family, our organizaton, or the world; then we release bad energy from our lives and expand on the good energy and the happiness factor.  Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go:

1. Give up your need to always be right. There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” Wayne Dyer.  Dr. Phil says “Would you rather be right, or be happy?” You make the call.

 2. Ditch your need for control. Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.

3. Toss out your self-defeating self-talk. Some studies show that 70% of our self talk is negative – just think how many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating.

4. Drop complaining and criticism from your vocabulary. Give up your constant need to complain and criticize– people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking. Read the book by Byron Katie Loving What Is. Think of the use of Transformational Vocabulary – what we say to others and what we say to ourselves – see #3 above on defeating self talk, can have a tremendous impact on our energy. Think of the statement “I can’t do that.” vs. “I won’t do that.” vs. “I’ll find a way to do that even though I don’t yet know how.” vs. “I’m not allowed to do that”. Hmmmmmm. Start measuring and weighing your words. Practice WAIT: Why Am I Talking?

5. Lose your need to impress others. Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take of all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly. There will always be some better and others worse off than you. Be in competition with yourself. Keep your eyes in your lane and swim the best race you can. Do you think Michael Phelps won all those gold medals by keeping his eyes on all the lanes of his competitors? He kept his eyes focused on his goal and his the target with all he had.

6. Stop your excuses.  We limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.  We can spend as much energy making up the exuceses than just doing it. Offering excuses to yourself is draining your energy. Live above the line, buck up and just do it.

7. Relese your need for attachment.  Ekhart Tolle describes in his book A New Earth, our need to cultivate a healthy detachment to things. You get better and better at with time and practice. Letting go of stuff, letting go of things that don’t really matter gives us a peace and serenity. Practice letting go of the past and cut some of the emotional attachments you have to stuff so it frees yo to be happy. The same is true for detaching from some of the old habits that don’t serve you any more. Try non-traditional celebrating over the holidays with less stress.

Just try some of these things to see how it lightens your load. You may just find a little more peace, joy, happiness and a new light shining from within after you ditch the baggage of things that don’t serve you any more. AND you just may feel lighter and better to serve others with your new found happiness and light.  Happy Holidays!

 

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Gracious Acceptance and Asking for Help

December 7, 2013 | Posted in Leading Hartfully, Living Hartfully | By

I’ve noticed that leaders and particularly strong, independent female leaders have a hard time asking for help and then accepting help, accepting gifts or even compliments. After spending over 3 decades witnessing and consulting with leaders; it seems that asking for help is considered a sign of weakness and many just gut it out and figure it out themselves or go without and struggle to get through it or to the other side of it. Whatever IT is.

I’m here to tell you that asking for help is surely not a sign of weakness but a sign of strength that you know your limits and what is out of reach. It is also a sign of gracious giving to allow others the joy of offering their expertize, their help, their perspective and their compliments. You are GIVING others a change to feel good about themselves and their abilities when you ask them for their help. You are GIVING them an opportunity to be of service. And doesn’t it feel good to be of service to somebody? In what book is giving a weakness? Giving comes from strength and abundance -we have what we need and have the ability to give more. When we give opportunities for others to share their services, we expand positive energy all around.

And then there’s gracious acceptance on the other end of generous giving. So many people, mainly women, brush off complements, well-wishes and gifts or they act embarrassed to be the recipient. Learning the art of gracious acceptance, allows others to experience the joy if giving. Particularly in this time of year where there is lots of gifting and giving; practice the art of gracious acceptance to expand the good feelings all around. You deserve it and even if you think you don’t, somebody thinks you do. Accept help with the holiday party plans, accept help with dinner, accept the fact that you really don’t want to cook or clean this holiday season and hire it out, or do something that doesn’t infringe on your time and space.

Now is a great time to practice the art of generous giving and gracious acceptance and allowing others to give freely. Give the gift of grace and gratitude this holiday season and see what changes appear before you.

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Creating Hartful Time to Renew & Recharge on an Energy Escape

November 15, 2013 | Posted in Leading Hartfully, Living Hartfully, Wealthy Woman | By

It seems we’re being pulled in many directions by our personal and professional responsibilities. Leaders at work are answering to the front office and to their teams. Leaders at home are answering to friends, kids, spouses, faith, school, volunteer and sports groups. It’s a difficult challenge to honor free time spontaneously any more, so need to schedule some time for re-assessing our choices, reaffirming our paths, reconnecting with others who are like-minded, or not who have your best interest at heart.

I suggest planning a weekend getaway, or Energy Escape, to connect with close confidantes for brainstorming, master-minding and recharging your batteries. We tend to be in high gear producing and implementing and reacting to life at work and at home. Leaders sometimes have nobody to turn to at work to bounce ideas off of and discuss vulerabilities, possibilities and question their choices. Creating time and creating space with supportive friends and colleagues can help catapult you in the right direction and affirm what you are thinking is your direction, or help guide you down another path.

These gatherings can be weekly Success Teams or Mastermind Circles or quarterly gatherings or even larger annual affairs in person with emails and calls in between the weekend soiree. Hiring a coach to bounce things off of is another option. I find my clients and myself included tend to talk our way through situations better than if we just think it through in our heads on our own. The synergy of the group and the energy it brings to the issue results in a much better and clearer outcome. We tend to question ourselves and when we have the confirmation of a group of knowledgeable and respected professionals and friends; we get it faster and it sticks. There’s something about accountability and knowing others are believing in you and counting on you to do what you say that helps propel us forward in the right direction.

I’ve experienced a few of those weekend gatherings recently  which I call Energy Escapes, and have another planned in the near future. They are uplifting, energizing, refreshing and rejuvenating. There’s something about being together in a different setting without distractions to sit and be and talk and set imaginations free for coming up with solutions to professional and personal issues. A nice number is 5-7 attendees coming together with their ideas for others and asking for what support and resources from the group they want as well. Being focused on each person at a time and coming together to pool resources generates incredible outcomes in these synergy sessions. It also helps each participant live and lead more Hartfully, staying closer to their truth, their heart, their centered way of moving through the world. It keeps us focused on the right path and gives us the courage to choose that path.

Why not plan for a solo getaway to get refocused on your personal goals and then plan several more with your pals to help each other achieve their goals as well. I generally use the holidays and the new year change-over to reassess what I’ve accomplished the past year and what lies ahead – calling it my year in review and year in preview. See earlier blog posts about that and the Hot 100 List. I see these gatherings as my 10,000 mile check-up and continual tune-ups for a life well lived in a very Hartful way. Try it yourself and see how much further along the right path you go with the help of others (pals, coaches, colleagues, other professionals) who are conspiring in your favor vs. doing it on your own. I bet you’ll see a vast difference. Facilitating Energy Escapes is something you do for yourself so you can do more for others. It’s a way of giving back to the world your best self with your highest goals in mind.

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What Colors Can Do to Specialize Your Space and Affect Your Mood

November 8, 2013 | Posted in Living Hartfully | By

Colors have a powerful effect on mood, and work their magic spell by helping us get in touch with our emotions. Colors can soothe, inspire, energize, and rejuvenate, and they set the mood and atmosphere of a room. So what is your home doing for you? Is your living room a drab den or a sensational salon? What about the bedroom? Is it a run-down retreat or a palace of passion? And what changes can you make to ensure that your living spaces are working for you? Understanding the rules of color and mastering the secrets of color mixing will help you create the right mood for your rooms. There are no rights and wrongs — the most important things are to have fun and to be creative. And the simplest way to revitalize your home is with paint.

Color wheel. Do you want warm or cool, dramatic or neutral? The color wheel is an invaluable tool for choosing the hues, tints, and shades based on your personal preferences. An unlimited amount of color combinations are possible. The wheel is divided into 12 equal sections, each displaying a primary, secondary, or tertiary color. The “warm” and “hot” colors are on the right hand side of the wheel, and the “cool” and “cold” colors are on the left. Black, white, and grey are the neutral colors, and don’t appear on the color wheel.

Primary colors. These are the three key colors that cannot be formed by any combination of other colors — red, blue, and yellow.

Secondary colors. When you mix equal amounts of two primary colors you get secondary colors — purple, green, and orange.

Red + Blue = Purple

Red + Yellow = Orange

Blue +Yellow = Green

Tertiary colors. Mixing primary colors with secondary colors in a 2:1 ratio will produce tertiary colors — red-orange, yellow-orange, red-purple, blue-purple, blue-green, and yellow-green.

How to use the color wheel:

Knowing the colors that harmonize and work with each other will help you create a tasteful theme and avoid making a rainbow riot. Here are some basic color schemes to get you started:

Complementary colors are found opposite each other, such as red and green or yellow and purple. They always go well together, hence the term complementary, and are easy on the eyes.

The meaning of colors:

Green. Bountiful in nature, the color green is life, growth, and health — a reassuring sign of renewal and regeneration. Situated in the center of the spectrum, green brings balance and order. The eye makes no adjustment to accommodate green striking the retina, making it a restful and soothing color.

Pink. Gentle and soft, delicate and feminine, pink quietly nurtures and soothes. It is the tender side of red, and invokes feelings of romance and enchantment. Bright pinks are energetic and youthful, while vibrant pinks are full of passion, though they are not as aggressive as reds.

Orange. Warm and sensuous, orange represents ripeness and happiness. It is a fun and exhilarating color that promotes feelings of excitement and hope. Orange is a combination of red and yellow, and shares common traits with both. It is forceful and demands attention, but is less intense than red, being mellowed by the presence of yellow.

Brown. Natural and organic, down-to-earth, and neutral. Though sometimes saddled with a reputation for being boring, brown is representative of wholesomeness and goodness, and promotes feelings of stability and order. It is simplicity in a chaotic world. Lighter shades are particularly soothing, while darker hues are confident and dependable.

Red. The color of passion, romance, love, and lust. Red is hot, fiery, and tempestuous — a powerful and intense color that evokes a sense of urgency and excitement, and stimulates the heart to beat faster. Red demands attention and will bring out the extrovert in you. It’s not for the shrinking violets.

Blue. Cool and calming, blue symbolizes serenity, purity, and loyalty. In many cultures blue has an important role in religious belief as a bringer of peace. Darker shades project an image of power and authority — police uniforms are blue, and a blue power suit is a favorite of the corporate world. Lighter shades are refreshing and uplifting — they encourage creativity and stimulate the imagination.

Purple. Full of magic and mystery, purple is the color of royalty, and represents opulence, wealth, luxury, and magnificence. Balancing hot red and cool blue, it has the properties of both. Purple can be uplifting, and is a soothing balm to mind and nerves. It also offers a sense of spirituality, and it symbolizes intuition and imagination.

Yellow. Representing the warmth and radiance of the summer sun, yellow is energetic, vibrant, cheerful, and optimistic. It’s the good mood hue, and shines with hope, happiness, and joy. Yellow enhances the intellect, activates the memory, and aids communication and concentration.

Upgrading your living spaces:

There are plenty of other ways to bring a burst of color into your life without the use of a paintbrush.

Living room

Use these additions to make your dream living room warm, cozy, and inviting. I found a wild rug and I mean wild in color and pattern and just HAD to have it. It so happens that it perfectly matched the cicles design on my chairs and my apple-green wild couch. Something happened on my way to being “of a certain age” that I replaced all my silk Chinese traditional dark green rugs with some crazy patterns and fun colors. Guessing I’m feeling like a freer spirit and can decorate however I want and this makes me happy…it’s light and luscious.

  • Decorative throw pillows and cushions — add some fresh color and a touch of style and vitality.
  • A colorful painting or digital photographs — take a few snaps in the park or around town, and frame the best images to create your own art.
  • Colored pillar candles, plates, and vases — place on a sideboard or table, and think of grouping them in threes. Objects look more interesting in groups than on their own.
  • Flowers — let nature enhance your living space.

 

Bedroom

  • Your decision of whether you  want your bedroom to be a passion palace or a blissful oasis will  determine your color choice.
  • Layer your room with linen — use embroidered sheets, satin quilts, pleated cotton bed skirts, and cozy and colorful drapes.
  • Change the lighting — buy colored lampshades and painted light bulbs.
  • Rugs — add to your room’s rich and lush appeal.
  • Artwork — buy a huge canvas or print or hang your own creations.

 

Bathroom

Your bathroom is a serene sanctuary, and there are some simple ways of adding sparkle to your cool, calm oasis.

  • Accessorize — consider a decorative mirror, colorful containers, pictures, matching towel sets, and decorative towel bars.
  • A colorful rug — freshen up the floor.
  • Color-changing faucet — provide quite literally a splash of color, as the water changes color as it runs through the faucet.

 

Colorful tricks

  • To make a room appear larger — paint all surfaces with the same color from the warm end of the color wheel. Paint the ceiling a lighter shade to make it appear higher. Large furniture appears smaller if it is the same color as the walls.
  • To make a room feel cozier — use colors from the warm end of the color wheel. A warm color on the ceiling will make it feel lower, and therefore comfier and more intimate.

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Ergonomics Improve Personal Energy

October 30, 2013 | Posted in Living Hartfully | By

When my friend Sharon told me she was an Industrial Hygienist, I had no idea what that term meant.  Did she do dental work in manufacturing areas?  I found out that she deals with the workplace environment to ensure a safe and comfortable place of employment.  Ergonomics is one of her fields and is essentially the study of what makes our bodies most comfortable in relation to light, sound, movement, temperature, air quality, and our furniture.  Since the average office worker now sends and receives 52 phone messages, 106 e-mails, 8 pieces of mail, 5 faxes, and 28 texts per day; we need to be comfortable doing all these things.

 

Here are some insider secrets on how ergonomics can help increase your personal energy and your health while you are at your office so you don’t have to go home from work exhausted.  Posture, type of furniture, work organization, and other personal space practices all work together to affect fatigue, stress, strains, or injuries.  Follow these pointers and you will have more energy left over at the end of the day to play with your kids, your pets, your partner, or your friends. And playing as hard as we work is what leads to a balanced life with less stress and more fun since our work hours have increased by 20% and our leisure time has decreased by 32% since 1973, we need to make the most out of what leisure time we have and be sure we have the energy to enjoy it.

 

Have a seat:

* Working for long periods of time without a break in an uncomfortable position can lead to headaches, eye-strain, and loss of concentration.  Moving within your range of comfort zones and various postures is good for your spine, muscles, joints, and circulatory system.  Get up and stretch to get the blood flowing into your limbs and to allow your left brain and right brain to integrate more readily by focusing on something else for a while. You will come back refreshed.

 

* Find your various comfort zones which may include standing or a more upright posture when speaking on the phone to enhance the voice by opening up the diaphragm.  It may include a more relaxed position when using the computer.  I find myself doing all my writing on my comfy couch on a lap desk, while my antique writing desk goes untouched for that purpose.  I can’t seem to get creative while sitting at a slant-top desk.  Use what works best for you.

 

* Your chair should be of comfortable height with your fee firmly planted on the floor or on a footrest.  Shorter people may have back strain if their feet cannot touch flatly on the floor since their backs must arch to get their feet to touch.  Footrests can alleviate such a strain – this goes for airplane seats, buses, bleachers etc. I have found a box of copy paper or a file box is just the right height for someone 5’ 2”!

* The backs of your knees and the underside of your thighs should be free of pressure with enough space under your desk for your knees and thighs to clear should you cross your legs or decide to use a footrest.

 

* Your lower back should be supported.  If you are in a hotel room – use the blanket draped over the back of the desk chair and a pillow or rolled towel behind the lower part of your back.  There are also portable back pillows for conferences and road trips to help support your back. Your mother was right – avoid slouching forward as it impedes breathing and fatigues the back.

* Your shoulders should be relaxed with your hands, wrists, and forearms aligned in a straight, neutral position.  If you use armrests, your shoulders should be relaxed with your elbows in near your body when they are resting on the chair.  Your forearms should make a 90 degree angle to your upper arm when poised at the keyboard to aid in bloodflow to the fingers.   Avoid resting your hands and wrists on sharp edges which will impede circulation.

 

Technical Difficulties:

* Your computer keyboard should be directly in front of you and  sometimes it may be in your lap to change positions. Your hand should be relaxed when holding the mouse and if you are not actively using it, rest your hand elsewhere. Practice typing and clicking with a light touch and clean your tracking mechanism regularly so it moves effortlessly. Your keyboard slope should allow your wrists to be straight.

 

 

* Do you refocus your eyes intermittently on distant objects or get up and walk around to give your eyes a rest.  Position your monitor to avoid glare on the screen – by reducing ceiling lights, or positioning the monitor between lights, or by using a glare-reduction filter.   If you wear bifocals, avoid tilting your head back to see the monitor. Your monitor should be about arm’s length from your face just below eye level, and directly in front of you or a bit to the side if your document holder is the main thing you are focusing on in front of you. By properly positioning your monitor, you will reduce eye strain, and muscle fatigue in your shoulders and upper back.

 

* After switching from a very active job to become a computer jockey, I noticed my arm going numb and tingling in the fingers.  I found out from my chiropractor that I had huge knots in my shoulders from improper chair/desk height and from scrunching the phone between my shoulder and my head. Even though you may take a break from the stresses which caused these ailments, the muscle knots do not go away on their own – you must have them worked out by a massage therapist.  I have found freedom from tension knots by purchasing a cordless headset telephone and by having preventive massages on a regular basis.  Sometimes we need to listen to our bodies when they tell us something is askew.

 

Lights, Sound, Action!:

* Fluorescent lighting can cause headaches from the constant buzz and flicker.  Natural light or full-spectrum lighting can increase your productivity by 255 and reduce headaches as well.

 

* Avoid assaulting noises or sounds which disturb your natural rhythms.  For some people white noise helps drown out unpleasant, distracting sounds.  For others playing soft music with the tonalities of smooth jazz or classical is more energizing.

 

* Getting fresh air during the day helps boost your energy along with getting some sunlight and vitamin D from the sunshine.  A short walk outdoors will help breathe new life into your during the afternoon slump.  Some buildings are known for their toxic air or sick building maladies.  Oddly enough, the Environmental Protection Agency had some of the worst air in the country until they took steps to rectify it.

 

So Ergonomics plays a big part in personal energy – even though I could not find ergonomics in 3 of my dictionaries and thesauruses which were printed in the 1970’s.  We’ve come a long way in detecting what makes our bodies comfortable and most productive.  In the end, it is an individual choice on what makes us comfortable.  All we have to do is sit still long enough to really listen to it.

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Try a Little White Space for Wiggle Room – Make Room for Something New with Radical Release

October 14, 2013 | Posted in Leading Hartfully, Living Hartfully, Wealthy Woman | By

It never ceases to amazing me, the rushing about, the velocity of people and the ramping up of activity as we roll into the holiday season. As if many of our lives aren’t hectic enough jammed packed with busy-ness; we amp up and cram in more activities. I dare you to put a little more white space into your life. Make space for serendipity and make room for new things to flow into your path. If our lives and our homes and offices, and cars and garages and closets and calendars are filled to maximum capacity; how is the Universe going to send something to an already-full space? Clear out some stuff to make room for what matters more.

When I was in full-tilt keynote speaker mode for many years; I would always schedule some play time in the city where I was speaking to spend time with friends who lived nearby or to explore a new area. I would also “try” to schedule a down day after a trip to regroup and recharge before going out again for another program. Of course I was also guilting of booking back-to-back programs, in different parts of the world or the country in the same week or sometimes in the, gasp, same day. That would stress me out to no end if I did book something in two different states on the same day – hoping no weather-related or flight-related incidents cropped up. I paid the price for it with stress and exhaustion. I would run into other speakers at conventions who would tell me that they were doing 150 programs that year. My response was “are you bragging or complaining”…. followed by “I’m sorry to hear that.”  Which usually got a wierd look in response.

Boundaries. We need to set boundaries and create white space in our lives to allow space for ourselves and our thoughts and day dreaming and planning. My hunch is the over-stuffed schedules come from a fear-based approach to not wanting to lose out on an income-producing opportunity, or to lose out to a competitor or to have to sit with ourselves and our thoughts for just a moment. A fear that we will somehow miss whatever it is may be happening whereever we may not be. Wealth and income cannot and will not flow into a space that is not accepting of it. If you have no room for more to flow in, it won’t. Period. Are you ready for more flow in your life and to release the old stuff and old ways to have more white space?

Most people spend more time writing out their holiday gift list than writing out their life plan and their dream list or their self-improvement list and goals. Why not take a breather this coming holiday season and spend time at home, away from the malls, off the freeways, out of your in-laws or relatives homes and create some more white space within yourself and within your life. I guarantee it will allow you space to Refresh, Refocus and Reconnect with you.

If you’re feeling crazed or off track or stuck or whipped up into a frenzy with all the stuff you usually do rolling into this time of year; I offer you permission to Refresh your frazzled nerves any way that feels organice and natural to who you are. It could be feeding the ducks, going to an art museum, getting a massage, facial or mani/pedi, sipping coffee on the porch, bubble baths or naps. Whatever it is that recharges your batteries, create white space for it.

Refocus and reframe your situation and your choices and your usual to-do lists during the upcoming time of year. Refocus on what you want to do for you so you can better serve others in the future. You can’t give what you don’t have, so regaining your energy and your focus makes you better at what you do. Leaders can’t lead well if their nerves are shot and their attention is scattered. Refocus on what matters most and drop the rest.

Reconnect with your Source, Yourself and Others. Make room for Spirit to work magic in your life and invite positive energy into your intentions. Reconnect with yourself through radical release. Release the old ways of running ragged. Dump the notion that the holidays mean stress. For the past few decades I’ve made a promise to myself to stay out of the malls and shopping centers between Thanksgiving and Martin Luther King Day to avoid the craziness. That is my release from all things un-spirited about the spirit of the season. No more lines, no more figting for parking, no more crowds…it’s quite a good feeling to be released from all of that negativity. I’ve come to love home delivery of my groceries and drug store purchases. Releasing myself from those time-zapping errands gives me a few hours of more white space per month and reduces my stress levels. What can you release from your life to give you more energy for other things that matter more?

Reconnecting with friends – making room for more time to really connect, not just on Facebook. Reconnecting through phone calls, sending a heart-felt card or meeting face to face the olf-fashioined way lifts our spirits. My gift to you is to send a free card to somebody and reconnect with them. Let them know you’re thinking about them – a real card with a stamp and envelope that will land in their mailbox, anywhere in the world. There’s a video that will walk you through how to send it – my treat  – http://www.BizBuilderCards.com.

How can you practice radical release and create more white space in  your life over the holidays and every day? What new habits can you form that will give you more wiggle room? What things and activities can you delete from your life and your space to make room for the Universe to bring you something that matters more? I double dog dare you to start creating more white space in the margins of your life and allow the flow to come to you. If there is no space for it to flow to you, it will flow to somebody else and you stay stuck in your ways. Let me know what things you’ve released from your life to make more white space to BE.

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Testing the Waters of Your Comfort Zone & Beginner Brain for Leaders

September 22, 2013 | Posted in Leading Hartfully, Living Hartfully | By

All leaders go through testing phases. Facing tests builds your confidence, strengthens your self- image and shores up your anxiety about what you can face and how you can get through it. When you’re comfortable as a leader and living in your comfort zone, you may be comfy, but are you testing the waters outsize that zone? Are you stretching and growing your knowledge, skills, abilities, compassion and passion for situations, people and things to expand your horizons?

What are you doing to regularly test the waters outside your comfort zone? I believe leaders and non-leaders (but we really are all leaders in one way or another, whether the name plaque on our desk or door says so or not….we’re leading our lives, leading our families and leading friends or sports teams, eh?) need to continually bring themselves to a point of having Beginner Brain. Putting yourself in situations where you’re not the expert, where you don’t know all the answers, where you are challenging your mind and body to do things that may be unfamiliar to you is a way to grow your dendrites and make more neuro-connectors to expand your self-esteem, and bring you back to a place where you don’t know it all and need to rely on your problem-solving skills. I believe in putting yourself into positions which aren’t so easy to figure out.

Beginner Brain can be exciting and exhilarating – putting you back to times when you were much younger and just exploring the world and figuring things out. It’s when you can claim those AHA experiences of having just succeeded over a task or reclaim the joy of discovery when something worked even when you weren’t sure it would. What kinds of things can you experience, new hobbies and adventures to try, new trails to blaze that will put you a little closer to the edge of discovery and test your abilities?

As one who lives for new discoveries, adventure and AHA moments; I recently embarked on a boating odyssey with my best friend to be a part of the 200th anniversary reenactment of the war of 1812 Battle of Lake Erie with 1000 other boats and 19 tall ships. Being amidst the mayhem of 1000 boats with northerly winds whipping up the water of Lake Erie into swells up to 7 feet was something I hadn’t ever experienced. Seeing the tall ships maneuvering and listening to their captains on the radio adapt to all the small craft as they made their way to the reenactment site was stirring. Feeling a little out of control as we were tossed in the waves and wakes of the bedlam was a little disconcerting. Hearing the clash and clang and thuds of every item in the salon being thrown about in the fray was unexpected. Not being the one at the wheel and having trust in my captain and taking orders to keep us safe was yet another level of lessons learned.

Being a life-long boater; I’ve had many experiences in all kinds of water around the world. Having sailed the Greek Islands in a 24? sailboat, helped crew a 100-year-old 65? schooner in the North Sea, captained a 50? yacht through the canals of Provence, was a winch wench for years in sailing races on the Potomac and off the California coast, and on a retired America’s Cup boat in the Caribbean as well as growing up with ski boats on the inland lakes of the Midwest; I knew my way around vessels from bow to stern. I had never been amidst the chaos of so many other crazy boaters and on a 20-ton tugboat. It seems to be the other human elements that trip us up now and again. Being in an unfamiliar vessel added to the learning curve. We ended up anchoring 7 times that night due to wind, water and sea-bed conditions and dragging anchor to ram into another boat at 1am.

My Beginner Brain was moving steadily towards advanced beginner by the time the weekend was over. We also tested the waters in a newly-purchased dinghy and it was like Lucy and Ethel do anchoring and dinghy patrol. In the end we ended up losing only a flip flop, a toenail and lots of sleep….and maybe a little ego. Beginner Brain puts you right back at the start of figuring things out and pulling together out of necessity and really engaging parts of your brain that may have been dormant for a while when you’re an accomplished professional.

It was an exhausting, exhilarating and exciting weekend. Experiencing what Steven Covey in the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People calls Sharpening the Saw is highly recommended to stay sharp and keep your edge in business and in life. What are you doing to sharpen your saw, get back to Beginner’s Brain and test the waters outside your comfort zone?

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On the Art of Living & Leading Hartfully

August 25, 2013 | Posted in Leading Hartfully, Living Hartfully | By

I’ve been a student of the art of living simply and beautifully  for a couple decades now. Ever since finding Alexandra Stoddard’s first books on the subject of leading a beautiful life and incorporating it into every single delicious aspect of my life. Why not surround yourself with beautiful things that have meaning and bring your joy? Why not surround yourself with beautiful thoughts, intentions, music, art, love, abundance and design? The philosophy oozes its way into they types of soap, lotions, potions and vessels that find their way into your home, the clothes that find their way into your closet, the work that finds its way into your life, and the friends that find their way into your heart.

I’ve been ruminating about the transition of of message that the world needs to hear and transitioning my work to mesh with what I’ve learned over the years, who I”ve becoming and am still becoming and what entrepeneurs and employers need to know as well as those that are in charge of their lives if not an entire company. The transition has moved from changing my own personal name with much thought and consideration of a grand representation of my life’s purpose but to my company name and what it/I stand for. Afterall, they are one in the same. My work is the outward expression of my essense and purpose: to be a successful artist and messenger in the community spotlight. So bringing the message of living and leading Hartfully has been years in the making.

Recently I hosted a “Gaia’s Girls Weekend” which truly expressed the art of living and leading Hartfully. Gathering some of my favorite women on Earth from “the Southern Contingent”; we enjoyed food, frolic, frivolity, friendship and a stretch limousine to take us to a grand estate for a peek into the truly elengant ways of Living Artfully. Indeed, our lives are works of art that we paint with every choice we make. This particular weekend was delightfully rendered with little scheduling to allow the energy to flow and to just BE with each other and connect peppered with some highlights of living lusciously and treating outselves beautifully. Why not treat ourselves to luxe indulgences to feel special now and again or at least more often than we have in the past. Why not experience the feelings of lushness and grace. What is holding you back from getting a limo now and again to whisk you and your friends off to an amazing day or evening celebration and joy? It doesn’t need to be for anything in particular. Give the gift of a great experience and see how it makes everybody feel…pretty darn good.

What a treat and a blessing to be able to bring my gal pals together and practive the Art of Living and Leading Hartfully. If we can’t live Hartfully, how are we expected to lead Hartfully? If we are not in touch with our purpose and message and the big why’s of ourselves and our hearts; how can we expect to show up and lead in any decent way? I’ve consulted with many leaders who have not found that balance of leading and living fully in their hearts and it’s not a pretty sight. What can you do for yourself to living and lead more Hartfully? More fully in your heart?

What small changes can you make to your home and office to be living more beautifully in what fully represents you? Might I suggest clearing out anything that doesn’t make sense any more. This could be items, thoughts, people, busy work, tasks, clothing, shoes, knick knacks and habits. What can you infuse into your life to help you live more Hartfully? What new habits, new friends, new work projects, new things in your surroundings could help you live more beautifully?

What can you do in the service of others to help you live more Hartfully? What can you do in the service of yourself to express your life more Hartfully? What can you do to bring in more beauty? It was such a treat to treat my freinds to a glorious day of living Hartfully – a cherished memory for all of us. Looking forward to practicing more Hartful habits.

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