December 28, 2013 | Posted in: Leading Hartfully, Living Hartfully

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I wanted to start out the year on the right foot….or is it the left foot. I prefer goofy footed. Here are some things you can delete from your day that can make your life a lot easier and maybe, just maybe a lot happier. If we choose to let go of what isn’t serving us in relation to the greater good of our life as we work towards the greater good of our family, our organizaton, or the world; then we release bad energy from our lives and expand on the good energy and the happiness factor.  Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go:

1. Give up your need to always be right. There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” Wayne Dyer.  Dr. Phil says “Would you rather be right, or be happy?” You make the call.

 2. Ditch your need for control. Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.

3. Toss out your self-defeating self-talk. Some studies show that 70% of our self talk is negative – just think how many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating.

4. Drop complaining and criticism from your vocabulary. Give up your constant need to complain and criticize– people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking. Read the book by Byron Katie Loving What Is. Think of the use of Transformational Vocabulary – what we say to others and what we say to ourselves – see #3 above on defeating self talk, can have a tremendous impact on our energy. Think of the statement “I can’t do that.” vs. “I won’t do that.” vs. “I’ll find a way to do that even though I don’t yet know how.” vs. “I’m not allowed to do that”. Hmmmmmm. Start measuring and weighing your words. Practice WAIT: Why Am I Talking?

5. Lose your need to impress others. Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take of all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly. There will always be some better and others worse off than you. Be in competition with yourself. Keep your eyes in your lane and swim the best race you can. Do you think Michael Phelps won all those gold medals by keeping his eyes on all the lanes of his competitors? He kept his eyes focused on his goal and his the target with all he had.

6. Stop your excuses.  We limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.  We can spend as much energy making up the exuceses than just doing it. Offering excuses to yourself is draining your energy. Live above the line, buck up and just do it.

7. Relese your need for attachment.  Ekhart Tolle describes in his book A New Earth, our need to cultivate a healthy detachment to things. You get better and better at with time and practice. Letting go of stuff, letting go of things that don’t really matter gives us a peace and serenity. Practice letting go of the past and cut some of the emotional attachments you have to stuff so it frees yo to be happy. The same is true for detaching from some of the old habits that don’t serve you any more. Try non-traditional celebrating over the holidays with less stress.

Just try some of these things to see how it lightens your load. You may just find a little more peace, joy, happiness and a new light shining from within after you ditch the baggage of things that don’t serve you any more. AND you just may feel lighter and better to serve others with your new found happiness and light.  Happy Holidays!